A step backward to go forward; cutting ties with a sociopath.

A sociopath is a term used to describe someone who has an antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). People with this condition can't understand other's feelings. They often break rules or make impulsive decisions without feeling guilty for the harm they cause.

They show a lack of regard for other's feelings or violations of people's rights. They may not realize that they have this behavior and may live their entire lives without a diagnosis. Source: https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/sociopath

People get into relationships with such persons without knowledge of their condition. This is responsible for a number of domestic violence cases as sociopaths act impulsively. Obviously, coping with a sociopath can be very difficult and the mental health of a spouse is always in threat. I decided to share a story to encourage people dealing with a toxic relationship with a SOCIOPATH.

Have you ever been in a dark room, psychologically, a state of total cluelessness? Kemi had dated Femi for two (2) years. The relationship was relatively not so old but had taken a rapid growth pill. Within two years they had just known each other, became friends, moved to being best friends, gone intimate, met both families, and were moving towards the alter. Many sacrifices had been made and so much had been entangled. Femi wasn't the perfect person for Kemi (he wasn't even good for her). He had attributes that made her wonder what made her stay and how she managed so far. It was time to put an end to it but it seemed like there was no room for back outs. She felt locked up in a cage and yet the keys were in her hands, she just couldn't find the keyhole. She needed help but couldn't get it. She was crowded with friends and family yet she felt so alone. Who could she talk to? Everyone would blame her for she was the author of her own problems. She felt embarrassed to tell anyone her story. She knew she couldn't do it alone but who could help her? Things started happening too fast she knew it had to be now or never, come up now or forever hold thy peace. She made up her mind if she wanted to move forward with her life she needed to take a step backward first. She decided she would go back and do what she should have done in the past, talk to someone. 

"Femi is really choking me," she said to herself, "how can he seize my belongings wanting me to come back to him. How can one human being be such an embodiment of self-centeredness? He lies, cheats, and recently he had started doing drugs. He now steals people's money under false pretense and calls it sharpness. He is a fraudster, what they called 419. I can't possibly involve my self with someone who has gotten for himself a bad reputation".

Kemi decided to talk to her father, he was the only person who could help her out of Femi's cage. Femi was too possessive, he wouldn't let go without a fight. He owed her so much money she had borrowed him to put into a business, but at this point, she wasn't ready to go ahead and wait till she got her money. She saw it as a price she paid for her freedom. Femi was abusive both verbally and physically, maybe it was the side effect of the drugs or it was as a result of an uncontrollable temper. Whichever it was, it didn't matter to her anymore, all she could think of was her freedom. 

It's easier for us to be caged and manipulated when we stand alone, we are gullible as a single broomstick than when in a bunch. Most times we lock ourselves up in false loneliness and separate ourselves from people who really love us and are ever ready to help us. Just like Kemi we might need help but feel ashamed to get it, so we drown in a pool of self-pity. After Kemi decided to partner with her father, things went more smoothly than she had imagined. Her father confronted Femi and even threaten to kill him if he ever came close to his daughter again. The key was in her hands, she only needed her father's help to reach the keyhole.

This is similar to most people dealing with abusive relationships, talking to someone might be just the thing you need to get your life back on track. As believers (in any religion) at some point, we wander far away from God and find it difficult to go back. The devil then holds us up in a cage of guilt and shame and makes us forget the key is in our hands. We just need God to show us the keyhole. At this point, we move slowly into depression. All we need is to go back to God in our rags like Kemi to her father and let him give us new clothes and throw a welcome party in our regard.